2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 20 - 11

Carv Halberd: Things are starting to heat up ghouls n goblins.

Urnal Angr: Carv dating himself.

Carv: That I am. I'm so lonely.

Urnal: That not... Me start and change subject. #20, Century: Spice Road.

Carv: Thanks, buddy. Spice Road. Man, am I bad at this game.

Urnal: Me don't mind that. (chuckle)

Carv: This is very similar to Splendor, as you collect resources and use those resources to get more resources and use those resources to get cards and use those cards for points.

Urnal: Me make engine like no tomorrow.

Carv: Sure, you can be anachronistic, no problem. But I say something...

Urnal: Get over it. Century good game. Play fast. Usually result in more plays.

Carv: Next up, #19, Downforce.

Carv: Since release, this is constantly on my most played list. I have never brought this to the table and only played one game.

Urnal: Me laugh when little gremlin beats you.

Carv: Some of my favorite times are playing with that little girl. She loves this game. And the game comes with a simplified ruleset to play with the young ones.

Urnal: She still win. You bad racer.

Carv: And yet I don't mind. I just enjoy the game. Two new maps recently released as well. These add some new power cards in, which adds some changes. The tracks have some minor differences that change up the race a bit.

Urnal: Me always have fun with this game. We play now!

Carv: Unfortunately, we need to move on, my friend. Perhaps later. #18, Mechs vs Minions.

Urnal: Urnal not so sure about this one.

Carv: Really? That's surprising.

Urnal: Me bet first thing Carv says is how nice production quality is.

Carv: That... would have been a point.

Urnal: Production is fantastic. Very nice bits and bobs.

Carv: And...

Urnal: And, Urnal beat scenarios. Doesn't feel need to go back.

Carv: But it was great fun going through the campaign.

Urnal: Sure was. Me favorite part is stomping stupid minions.

Carv: Bringing it back out again with new gaming groups is fun. Sure, you won't be surprised, but each level is a puzzle in a sense. And with some randomness involved via the die and card draw, you won't have the same game twice.

Urnal: It still fun, just, Urnal maybe put it lower.

Carv: Well, perhaps you will agree more with #17, Alien Frontiers.

Urnal: DICE SHIPS!

Carv: Right, something fun about dice placement. Sure, it's random, but there are some powers to mitigate bad rolls. And the take-that exists, but is not overwhelming.

Urnal: Give Urnal your resources!

Carv: Then beyond the dice placement, you have area control. I think we can both agree that area control might be our favorite gameplay.

Urnal: You not give me your resources. [sounds of a club smashing a lamp] Next me smash you.

Carv: We're not even playing...

Urnal: Wallet will do.

Carv: (sigh)

Urnal: Carv not have much in his wallet.

Carv: Maybe if some oaf would stop going through it. Anyway. This is a fun race to the planet with a fun combination of mechanics.

Urnal: Me think #16 going to cause a stir.

Carv: Right? This is a great dungeon crawler. Possibly the best we've played. But the BGG community has this WAAAAAAAY up top. At #1. But for us, #16, Gloomhaven.

[Sounds of a million voices crying out in terror, and suddenly silenced]

Urnal: (chuckle) Look, hate mail already come in.

Carv: Carv, you suck. Your list sucks. But not as much as your mom. ... That's wonderful.

Urnal: (laugh)

Carv: Can we keep to the games, please?

Urnal: Do another one!

Carv: [sounds of an envelope being opened] This one is to you. Urnal, You're nothing but a... I can't read this. Let's just say it ends with your needing a visit to a proctologist.

Urnal: Me go smash now.

[Sounds of an ogre storming out]

Carv: Signed, Your pal, Carv. (laugh). Gloomhaven is a legacy style dungeon crawl that has character building via a deck of cards. Each piece of the campaign is like a little puzzle. Sure, you'll never really get a real tabletop RPG feel from a board game without the RP part, but this is as close as anyone has gotten. It's a really fun game, but I do think hype is maybe bolstering it a little bit on the boards.

[Sounds of an ogre breaking door down]

Urnal: What me miss?

Carv: Oh, just a few more letters involving what you can do with your miniature friendship pony collection. Hint, it involves your butt.

Urnal: You joking?

Carv: Yes, it wasn't your butt. Can we move on?

Urnal: #15, Great Western Trail. Me like cows.

Carv: I'm going to be fair on this one, Urnal.

Urnal: Go on.

Carv: This is more a feeling than actual remembrance. It has been quite some time since we've played this one and while I remember feeling the rules were quite a bit wonky at first, I do remember enjoying trying to figure out the best moves, the best places to put down some buildings, cows to get, people to hire.

Urnal: Sound like you remember.

Carv: It's all kinda cloudy, and certainly needs to come out again. But, we don't own it.

Urnal: Me make goblin friend bring out again.

Carv: Maybe you convince him to add the new expansion first.

Urnal: Me get on that.

INTERMISSION

Carv: Had to answer the door, and it seems our copy of Wingspan has just arrived. Folks can assume a review will be posted soon. Our first review real review in this format, perhaps.

Urnal: Me like birds as much as cows.

Carv: Moving on to #14, Bohnanza.

Urnal: Me like beans even more!

Carv: This game is amongst the oldest of the games on our list, which I know we've said already, but I don't even remember which game that was for. And we still haven't been written a fact checker, so... moving on.

Urnal: This game so simple, yet so fun. And since you need help others to help self, it always sorta close at the end.

Carv: Right? It's almost always within a few coins. My one caveat to this game is player count. 3 players, good. 4 players, great. 5 players... maybe a little long. 6 or 7... I would just nope right out of that. Maybe if someone put up a timer for the trading, but boy can that many players drag out a small box game far beyond its welcome.

Urnal: Me think maybe box size also play into positioning. It #14, but could definitely be top 10.

Carv: We tried to remove the bias, but it's hard to compare a small card game with the big boys. But hey, we've got this above Gloomhaven and Great Western Trail. It's just that good and probably hurt on the overall BGG rankings due to its size and age.

Carv: To #13, Ulm.

Urnal: This one not get as much love as it deserves.

Carv: The nifty resource gathering mechanic alone is worth giving the game a try. You slide a new resource into a 3x3 grid, knocking one out, and take the remaining resources. But your opponents might control a row / column by grabbing buildings, so do you really need those resources enough to help them? Some good decisions to be made here.

Urnal: Me really don't have a ton to add here. Me just like this one and it not come out enough.

Carv: Shall we just move on then? Let's. #12, Robinson Crusoe: Adventures on the Cursed Island.

Urnal: This interesting situation too. Like MvM, earlier.

Carv: Oh?

Urnal: Me don't own this, so the plays done, me like a lot. Wonder if it will suffer from the "do we really want to replay this?" syndrome.

Carv: Hard to say now, my friend. We're so early on, but it's obvious the design here of exploration, risk / reward analysis, makes for an interesting game. And we have many more little puzzles to solve before we get there. It will definitely be interesting to see where this lands on next year's re-ranking.

Carv: Finishing out the penultimate period with #11, Clank!: A Deck-Building Game.

Urnal: Carv make lots of CLANK! Me like when dragon eats you.

Carv: This takes the basic deck building concept, and adds a little race to gather some artifacts to the mix. It's a much needed change to the formula, and is light enough to start earlier in the gaming hobby. And expansions, agogo. Which do you like the best?

Urnal: Me still like base game. Easiest to set up and play, but underwater one good too.

Carv: We do have the pyramid to play still, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the fate die and mummy changes this up a bit. But overall, this game comes out quite often in our group, usually between heavier games.

Urnal: Me want to finish list so me can punch some cardboard from Wingspan.

Carv: I'm already there, ya big beautiful brute. One period to go. Top 10, coming soon. Stay tuned, and play more

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!!!

Chapter 2: Gloomhaven (Or The Many Attempts at the Premium Fast Food Hamburger)

My parents didn't really believe in fast food. It was "junk" that I shouldn't be eating. As such, we never really went out for it at all. Doesn't mean I didn't get my grubby little hands on some every now and then. We all have that friend whose parents aren't so particular about what their children eat. You want ice cream and donuts for dinner? Sure. A burrito made with Fruit Loops, Cheez Whiz, and fried chicken cutlets? Why not? McDonalds? Let's go! (I swear, there will be stories that don't involve McDonalds in some way, but it is not this day). So. It happened on occasion.

There's a definite difference though. I mean, regardless of whether mom popped some burgers on a skillet over the stove, or whether dad threw some on the grill, there was just something more to having a home cooked burger. They were thicker, juicier, and topped however you wanted (without having to go through the embarrassment of asking for it "plain" at the restaurant - yes, that's how I ate them, and yes, I'm ashamed of my younger self, thanks for asking).

It's weird being a kid though, right? Here you have this choice in front of you - a homemade, cooked to perfection, plump, juicy hangerber (as my gremlins call them) OR some machine processed, hastily slopped together, bit of "beef" that maybe comes out how you ordered it. You'd think it'd be a straight up easy decision, right? But it never was, because while there was something to a home cooked meal, there was something also to fast food.

Sure it was this oily, thin, flabby bit of meat so smothered in ketchup you couldn't taste whatever fillers they threw in there and to hide the fact that grade-wise Mrs. Wilson would be requiring a parent's signature on its Shakespearean Sonnet exam, but we were drawn to it like "Mine eyes have drawn thy shape, and thine for me." Not quite right, but let's let it be.

You see, Dungeons & Dragons has been the home cooked meal of the hamburger world since Gygax, with the parent playing the role of DM in this metaphor, and for years now, the fast food industry has been trying to figure how to automate that sh..tuff without the mom nor the pop. Sure, some of the entrants into the space have been entertaining, and some have been just downright fun, but while they have some great positives in their favor, it just never quite fully scratched that D&D itch. And like the Arch Deluxe, they just haven't had the staying power.

Enter Gloomhaven. This is the whatever McDonalds is trying to pass off as a "premium" burger these days. It really does come so close to that charcoal cooked, crunchified, brunch-burger as possible while keeping the process automated, efficient, and customer-focused. It's still not mom's paprika-crusted, stove top burger, but it's as close as any have gotten, and makes for some damn fine eating on the quick.