QB Sneak - An Insider Review

Carv Halberd: Another weekend comes to an end and with it the first month of the new year, Urnal. I must admit, I am a bit disappointed.

Urnal Angr: Urnal understands that. Puny human sportsball game take away Urnal's BOARDGAME time. Urnal wants to smash stupid grin off Bomb Shady.

Carv: I think most of the Foozball-watching world might agree with you, friend.

Urnal: As they should.

Carv: With our limited game time, we did manage to get one game to the table this weekend. And it's one we've held in our collection for quite some time, but just never managed to get out.

Urnal: Party games tough. Urnal not party person. Prefer smaller group so he can smash them if Urnal loses game.

Carv: Playing solo a lot lately then?

Urnal: Careful Urnal not smash you, bone boy.

Carv: So, to the table for the first time is Insider.

Urnal: Box is so puny.

Carv: Right? Look at this game next to a reference coffee.

Urnal: Coffee is life. Next to BOARDGAMES!

Carv: Amen, brother. Oink Games has a bit of a niche going, making very small box games, but I must admit, I've enjoyed every one I've played. After Deep Sea Adventure, I knew I was going to collect them all. And Insider is another prime example of big fun in a tiny package.

Urnal: [Laugh] Tiny package. Is social deduction game hidden behind 20 questions. Even the gremlins could get behind that. And they not all there like us big folk.

Carv: Yes, you're certainly... all there... as you say. But the premise here is simple game fans. One person is the Master, who knows the secret word. Everyone else is asking yes/no questions trying to figure it out before the timer (approx 5 mins) is up.

Urnal: Trick being one sneaky person also knows word and is trying to lead others to figure it out without being caught as person who knows word. Is QB sneak, but no knowing whose face to smash.

Carv: ... There's a little flow chart in the short rulebook on what happens when a word is figured out, but in the end, everyone needs to figure out who the Insider is. They can't... the Insider wins.

Urnal: Urnal good at insider.

Carv: I don't think you asked a single question last game.

Urnal: That good tactic. Group had talker. Me let him do work for me.

Carv: That's... quite brilliant.

Urnal: Me knew bony man was friend. [Sounds of a bony ribcage being crushed in an ogre hug]

Carv: [gasp] Can't. Breath.

Urnal: Bony man has no lungs. What problem?

Carv: Huh. Never thought about it that way. Moving on. What do you think about this one?

Urnal: Urnal sorry it took so long to play this. Me like it quite a bit as a filler or big group game. But...

Carv: Yes, I believe I know where this "but" is going.

Urnal: You said... never mind. Urnal hates price point with Oink. MSPP

Carv: MS-R-P

[Sounds of a skeleton face being punched]

Urnal: Normal price around $20 for puny box and game that can be played with a few scraps of paper.

Carv: Exactly where I thought you'd go with this, and while I do agree it's a bit pricey, the... bits and bobs... as you like to call them, are quite nice. Thick cardboard. Decent cards. Sand timer. Plus, I do like the idea that I'm supporting the hobby and the creation of a game I've already enjoyed for what I'd consider $20 worth of my time. If you have the gold to spare, why not show your support?

Urnal: Me not argue with that. Plus, me a completionist who wants all the Oinks.

Carv: A dangerous road you travel... where are you going?

Urnal: Get club to smash bone man.

Carv: Let me finish! A dangerous road... but I like your style. You're still walking away... I fully agree to buying blindly because the boxes are pretty. Still getting that club. I like your hair.

Urnal: Really?

Carv: Yes. The way you have hair everywhere except the top of your head. Exquisite. I'm obviously quite jealous, what with my lack of hair... or skin... or organs of any kind.

Urnal: Ok. Me forgive bone man for now. C&U seal of approval?

Carv: Consider it stamped!

Urnal: BOARDGAMES!!!!!!!!

Birds in the Hand - a Wingspan Review

Carv Halberd - Welcome back boardgame fans, and thank you for tuning into our STILL unnamed show. The arena is abuzz, the crowd cheers the raucous screams of the insane fanatic. Boy do we have a game for you today, folks. With me, as always, is the smashingest ogre you all know and love, Urnal Angr.

Urnal Angr: BOARD GAMES! [sounds of a warhammer smashing a desk]

Carv: And one less place to play them now.

Urnal: Me get excited.

Carv: And rightly so. We have a new one for the crowd today.

Drunken Dwarf: New for you, losers.

[Sounds of a dwarf being forcibly thrown across the arena... via warhammer... to the face]

Carv: I've seen a horse fly. I've seen a dragon fly. I've seen a house fly. But I ain't never seen a dwarf fly.

Urnal: I love Dum...

Carv: (interrupting) Of course you do. Let's get into it, shall we?

Urnal: BOARD GAAAAAMES!!!

Carv: Today's contestant is Wingspan, the newest release from Stonemaier Games.

Urnal: SM makes good games. Me like ALL THE GAMES.

Carv: But the question is, does this continue the trend? Can SM continue to put out exceptional product after exceptional product? Let's take a look.

Urnal: Me make usual first comment about good bits and bobs.

Carv: They certainly are lovely. Production is over-the-top good; what with the cardboard bird feeder / dice tower, little plastic eggs, big chunky dice, player boards that look like field manuals, unique bird art and little bits of information on each card. Everything in this game is well designed and screams of a labor of love.

Urnal: Me favorite is the Dickcissel.

Carv: ...

Urnal: Because it says

Carv: (interrupting) Moving on! Mechanically, this is an engine-building game. Line your birds up to best use their powers to feed other bird powers, to feed other bird powers, for those sweet, sweet victory points.

Urnal: Me like scoring more than you.

Carv: Doesn't everyone? The game is so simple, only giving you 4 actions to choose from each turn, but every decision needs to be thoughtful or you can easily find yourself struggling to get anything going. Do I draw more cards - birds in the hand, and whatnot - or do I get some more eggs, which will chain my grassland birds, which will get me more food, which I can use to get more birds? It's a clever little game with a lower barrier to entry, but still thinky.

Urnal: Urnal smashes barriers.

Carv: Yes, you've made that clear.

Urnal: With your face.

[Sounds of a chair scooting away. Of an ogre laughing.]

Carv: There are many ways to score points too... birds, eggs, flock sizes, cached food, end-game bonuses, end-round bonuses. For a simple game, it definitely has some meat to it.

Urnal: Like a steak?

Carv: Like a fine hangar steak, medium well, glazed with maple syrup.

Urnal: Me want to play now.

Carv: And lucky for you there's an automa! Yes, another design by Automa Factory. This solo mode is super simple and really does well to simulate play with another player. Sure they don't do the same things as a normal player, but it works. My one solo outing had me win on Normal mode by 2 points. A close game. Play against my demoness friend ended with her win by 1 point in a similar point range. The automa works. Or I stink.

Urnal: Like poop.

Carv: Thanks, buddy. What do you think about this one?

Urnal: Me like simple engine-building with good bits and bobs. Chunky dice good for fat ogre hands. Eggs not tasty.

Carv: They're... plastic.

Urnal: That make sense. Me like this game despite non-tasty eggs.

Carv: Me too. Does this get the prized, yet-to-be-named station award for funness?

Urnal: Me say... YES. WINNING BOARD GAME!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 10 - 1

Carv Halberd: Here it is, demons and demagogues, the moment I've all been waiting for; the top ten

Urnal Angr: BOARD GAMES!!!!

Carv: Thank you, Urnal. So glad to have you back in this epic finale. What a game it's been folks. We've had some highs, and some lows.

Urnal: Like when Urnal pop puny bone head off.

Carv: That certainly was a low, Urnal.

Urnal: Maybe for you. (laugh)

Carv: It looks like we're ready to jump right into the game with #10, Ex Libris.

Urnal: Books?! Big exciting finale, and you begin us with books?!

Carv: There certainly are books on the cards, my friend, but this game is so much more. It's worker placement and tableau building and so many little mini games in the worker locations. It really is a neat little game. And I must admit, I even play this one a bit solo, just for some relaxing library organizing fun.

Urnal: (sigh) FINE. Me give it try. So long as me have way to spite you.

Carv: Like any good worker placement, there's always a teeeeeeeny bit of "take that" in there. So, perhaps that works for you?

Urnal: Me said me try already! Move on or me smash you and change mind.

Carv: Looks like we're jumping over to #9, Champions of Midgard.

Urnal: Urnal's friends no do so good in this game.

Carv: No?

Urnal: Urnal smash silly trolls and draugr with massive dice pool.

Carv: Ah yes, another worker placement, but this time with dice combat! That may be a no go for some folks as it does add quite a bit of randomness to the game, but at the core, you're evaluating risks and mitigating it as best you can. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't.

Urnal: Much like life.

Carv: That was deep, Urnal.

[Sounds of a bony leg being ripped out]

Urnal: Here demadoggy! Fetch!

Carv: Reputation, right.

Urnal: Bony man learning. Urnal like this game even more with expansions. When die die in glorious battle, use them for even more battles.

Carv: Yes, the Valhalla expansion certainly makes this game something else altogether by adding in a separate set collection element, or maybe it's resource management. Whatever. But your warriors have a purpose after death.

Urnal: Sweet, sweet victory points. Much like life.

Carv: ... #8 Shakespeare.

Urnal: Great. Big finale has books and human who writes books.

Carv: Plays. He wrote plays. And poetry.

Urnal: Bony man saying words, but Urnal not understand.

Carv: Regardless. This is a game of set collection, tableau building, and action point allotment, and likely the first real surprise (though there may be one or two more ahead) on our list here.

Urnal: Theme and entry barrier make game a hard sell sometimes.

Carv: Right. Without the right group, the explanation on this one can be brutal. To the point where I've started playing a turn or two and then resetting with a fresh game so everyone understands.

Urnal: Urnal still not understand.

Carv: And I'm going to make it worse, because the game really feels complete when you add in the Backstage expansion. A few extra cards that give the action points you didn't bid something to do. That'd make more sense if I'd explained the game, but just know the expansion is just a small deck of cards and I prefer to never play without it now.

Urnal: Me like dressing the actors in costumes. Make Lady MacBeth pretty.

Carv: Let's just... move on to #7. Spirit Island.

Urnal: Catan fights back.

Carv: I've heard that said before. Probably one of those other reviewers who put themselves on camera. Like we don't see enough humans every day.

Urnal: But that clever for game of destroying puny human settlers.

Carv: Yes, this is a game that has a complicated Pandemic-like feel of containing the spreading disease, wherein the disease is humanity.

Urnal: RIGHT ON!

Carv: It's a brain burner of a game that has expansions, and different modes of play, and is solo-able, so boy is this a good one folks.

Urnal: Me kinda surprised this not closer to #1.

Carv: Not for us to say, but I see what you mean. Definitely interested to see if this rises for next year.

Urnal: Me break some top 6 legs to make happen.

Carv: I... uhhhh. Ok. #6. Asgard.

Urnal: Me help the dark gods. Win many battles.

Carv: Yes, this game looks so complicated, but at its core is not. Worker placement in two phases. Placement. And removal, which is when you take the action. While you may want to get to a place first to ensure your use of it, you also need to account for when you want to remove your worker. And when you want to use your resources, because this game is not friendly with resources. The bank runs out, you take it from the other players.

Urnal: Me get ALL THE RESOURCES.

Carv: That kind of thinking will only get you so far in this one. You favor the gods and back them in Ragnarök.

Urnal: Me also like how pretty this one is.

Carv: Yes, fantastic art. Clever worker placement twists. Combat. This is a fun game that deserves higher praise.

Urnal: It battles the rest of the way through. Urnal feels home.

Carv: Mostly right you are. We are hitting the top 5. And first up is nothing to be surprised about. At #5 we have Scythe.

Urnal: Game not new anymore. Not sure me have anything to add. But it so good.

Carv: Right? And to one up on that, we don't even own the expansions yet. With the praise being heaped upon Rise of Fenris, this game may hit one of the top spots of the list for years to come.

Urnal: You really gon' describe gameplay? Like humans reading this don't know by now?

Carv: It's funny you assume anyone is reading this. I think the author just likes to play around and make lists.

Urnal: Everyone loves lists.

Carv: That they do. This is resource collection, combat... so many mechanics, really. You may earn things on other players' turns, keeping you engaged. There are expansions, larger boards, and talk about a modular board set being created. This game just will. not. die.

Urnal: Me just looked at #4. Carv right. Not all fighting.

Carv: Did you just... admit to being wrong?

Urnal: Don't get used to it. #4 Dinosaur Island.

Carv: Yes, not much fighting being done here. But this game does have some things you love. Dice drafting. Very limited resources for collection.

Urnal: Dinosaurs eating stupid humans.

Carv: Yes, and that. This is a fantastic Jur

Urnal: Dino amusement park movie franchise... the game.

Carv: Thanks. Wouldn't want our non-readers to get us in trouble for using IP we didn't pay for.

Urnal: Carv not being very excited. Top 3 coming. Me help.

[Sounds of a giant gate being lifted in the arena below. A human screams in horror as a zombie T-rex chases him around... and devours it]

Carv: (sniffle) Thanks, buddy. I needed that.

Carv: Top 3, people and snake-people and whatever you are. Here are our favorite

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!

Carv: At # 3, we have worker placement, backstabbing, loot snatching, and war doggery. Dogs of War.

Urnal: Urnal laugh how first comment always about over produced game.

Carv: Just like our first comment is now. Thanks for that. Sure, tokens would work just as well as the plastic busts used for your mercenary leaders, but who doesn't love some chunky plastic.

Urnal: Great hats.

Carv: Yes, but components aside, we got this one on the cheap when CMON was practically giving them away. And I just want to play it all the time. I want more! Get me more cards! More factions! Expand this thing!

Urnal: Even without, me always want to get this one out. Try different faction to see how to play different. And different players be different too. Me keep promises just enough to break one and win game.

Carv: That certainly may be a trend for our top 3 here. But what sets Dogs of War apart from other like games is more than production, but just the interesting combination of worker placement and area control, where the area control is essentially a game of tug of war. In real time you move the favor of battle with each placement. You wheel and deal and try to cull favor to your side, only to play a power that changes EVERYTHING.

Urnal: THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.

Carv: So good.

Carv: Area control take two, at #2, Tammany Hall.

Urnal: Mmmmm. Me like slandering opponents. Steal their spots.

Carv: Yes, gerrymandering, the area control game. You are trying to win elections with bribery and sneaky tactics. Sure, I'll help this nice German family find a home, just you remember me come election time.

Urnal: Me think bony man having affair with his secretary.

Carv: I... moving on. This is a game that needs a group with thick skin, and a group willing to trash talk and backstab and make shaky alliances. It can be brutal. To that extent, the box says 3 - 5. This is  5 player game. At 3, it's just a little weak. Even with the reduced board space to begin, it just doesn't have the same feel.

Urnal: This game perfect for not overly complicated mean area control game.

Carv: Almost. Almost as good as our #1.

Urnal: RISING SUN!

Carv: Oh, this game, Urnal. Area control, a million minis, monsters, alliances with literally a betrayal mechanic in the game. Even losing this game, there are just so many moments of... OH MY DARK LORD. DID HE JUST DO THAT?

Urnal: People complain about missing kickstarter. Urnal no have KS version. Retail version still wonderful game. Urnal makes you seppuku he has so much power.

Carv: Right? I don't miss the extra minis at all. With changing up the cards that can be purchased each game, the factions in use, the expansion factions, the gods coming down and joining the battle expansion, the extra monster expansion, the blind bidding for battle actions that is just this wonderful mind game between the participants of the battle. This game. It's just...

Urnal: Bony man crying?

Carv: It's just so beautiful.

[Sounds of a bony nose being blown on a loin cloth]

[Sounds of a bony body being shoved across the room. A chair smashing down on it. Bones breaking]

Urnal: You no touch Urnal again.

Carv: You... got... it.

[Sounds of a bony head being placed on the table]

Carv: That'll do it, folks. Our top 50. What a ride. Hopefully you've enjoyed the game. Now get out there and play more

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 20 - 11

Carv Halberd: Things are starting to heat up ghouls n goblins.

Urnal Angr: Carv dating himself.

Carv: That I am. I'm so lonely.

Urnal: That not... Me start and change subject. #20, Century: Spice Road.

Carv: Thanks, buddy. Spice Road. Man, am I bad at this game.

Urnal: Me don't mind that. (chuckle)

Carv: This is very similar to Splendor, as you collect resources and use those resources to get more resources and use those resources to get cards and use those cards for points.

Urnal: Me make engine like no tomorrow.

Carv: Sure, you can be anachronistic, no problem. But I say something...

Urnal: Get over it. Century good game. Play fast. Usually result in more plays.

Carv: Next up, #19, Downforce.

Carv: Since release, this is constantly on my most played list. I have never brought this to the table and only played one game.

Urnal: Me laugh when little gremlin beats you.

Carv: Some of my favorite times are playing with that little girl. She loves this game. And the game comes with a simplified ruleset to play with the young ones.

Urnal: She still win. You bad racer.

Carv: And yet I don't mind. I just enjoy the game. Two new maps recently released as well. These add some new power cards in, which adds some changes. The tracks have some minor differences that change up the race a bit.

Urnal: Me always have fun with this game. We play now!

Carv: Unfortunately, we need to move on, my friend. Perhaps later. #18, Mechs vs Minions.

Urnal: Urnal not so sure about this one.

Carv: Really? That's surprising.

Urnal: Me bet first thing Carv says is how nice production quality is.

Carv: That... would have been a point.

Urnal: Production is fantastic. Very nice bits and bobs.

Carv: And...

Urnal: And, Urnal beat scenarios. Doesn't feel need to go back.

Carv: But it was great fun going through the campaign.

Urnal: Sure was. Me favorite part is stomping stupid minions.

Carv: Bringing it back out again with new gaming groups is fun. Sure, you won't be surprised, but each level is a puzzle in a sense. And with some randomness involved via the die and card draw, you won't have the same game twice.

Urnal: It still fun, just, Urnal maybe put it lower.

Carv: Well, perhaps you will agree more with #17, Alien Frontiers.

Urnal: DICE SHIPS!

Carv: Right, something fun about dice placement. Sure, it's random, but there are some powers to mitigate bad rolls. And the take-that exists, but is not overwhelming.

Urnal: Give Urnal your resources!

Carv: Then beyond the dice placement, you have area control. I think we can both agree that area control might be our favorite gameplay.

Urnal: You not give me your resources. [sounds of a club smashing a lamp] Next me smash you.

Carv: We're not even playing...

Urnal: Wallet will do.

Carv: (sigh)

Urnal: Carv not have much in his wallet.

Carv: Maybe if some oaf would stop going through it. Anyway. This is a fun race to the planet with a fun combination of mechanics.

Urnal: Me think #16 going to cause a stir.

Carv: Right? This is a great dungeon crawler. Possibly the best we've played. But the BGG community has this WAAAAAAAY up top. At #1. But for us, #16, Gloomhaven.

[Sounds of a million voices crying out in terror, and suddenly silenced]

Urnal: (chuckle) Look, hate mail already come in.

Carv: Carv, you suck. Your list sucks. But not as much as your mom. ... That's wonderful.

Urnal: (laugh)

Carv: Can we keep to the games, please?

Urnal: Do another one!

Carv: [sounds of an envelope being opened] This one is to you. Urnal, You're nothing but a... I can't read this. Let's just say it ends with your needing a visit to a proctologist.

Urnal: Me go smash now.

[Sounds of an ogre storming out]

Carv: Signed, Your pal, Carv. (laugh). Gloomhaven is a legacy style dungeon crawl that has character building via a deck of cards. Each piece of the campaign is like a little puzzle. Sure, you'll never really get a real tabletop RPG feel from a board game without the RP part, but this is as close as anyone has gotten. It's a really fun game, but I do think hype is maybe bolstering it a little bit on the boards.

[Sounds of an ogre breaking door down]

Urnal: What me miss?

Carv: Oh, just a few more letters involving what you can do with your miniature friendship pony collection. Hint, it involves your butt.

Urnal: You joking?

Carv: Yes, it wasn't your butt. Can we move on?

Urnal: #15, Great Western Trail. Me like cows.

Carv: I'm going to be fair on this one, Urnal.

Urnal: Go on.

Carv: This is more a feeling than actual remembrance. It has been quite some time since we've played this one and while I remember feeling the rules were quite a bit wonky at first, I do remember enjoying trying to figure out the best moves, the best places to put down some buildings, cows to get, people to hire.

Urnal: Sound like you remember.

Carv: It's all kinda cloudy, and certainly needs to come out again. But, we don't own it.

Urnal: Me make goblin friend bring out again.

Carv: Maybe you convince him to add the new expansion first.

Urnal: Me get on that.

INTERMISSION

Carv: Had to answer the door, and it seems our copy of Wingspan has just arrived. Folks can assume a review will be posted soon. Our first review real review in this format, perhaps.

Urnal: Me like birds as much as cows.

Carv: Moving on to #14, Bohnanza.

Urnal: Me like beans even more!

Carv: This game is amongst the oldest of the games on our list, which I know we've said already, but I don't even remember which game that was for. And we still haven't been written a fact checker, so... moving on.

Urnal: This game so simple, yet so fun. And since you need help others to help self, it always sorta close at the end.

Carv: Right? It's almost always within a few coins. My one caveat to this game is player count. 3 players, good. 4 players, great. 5 players... maybe a little long. 6 or 7... I would just nope right out of that. Maybe if someone put up a timer for the trading, but boy can that many players drag out a small box game far beyond its welcome.

Urnal: Me think maybe box size also play into positioning. It #14, but could definitely be top 10.

Carv: We tried to remove the bias, but it's hard to compare a small card game with the big boys. But hey, we've got this above Gloomhaven and Great Western Trail. It's just that good and probably hurt on the overall BGG rankings due to its size and age.

Carv: To #13, Ulm.

Urnal: This one not get as much love as it deserves.

Carv: The nifty resource gathering mechanic alone is worth giving the game a try. You slide a new resource into a 3x3 grid, knocking one out, and take the remaining resources. But your opponents might control a row / column by grabbing buildings, so do you really need those resources enough to help them? Some good decisions to be made here.

Urnal: Me really don't have a ton to add here. Me just like this one and it not come out enough.

Carv: Shall we just move on then? Let's. #12, Robinson Crusoe: Adventures on the Cursed Island.

Urnal: This interesting situation too. Like MvM, earlier.

Carv: Oh?

Urnal: Me don't own this, so the plays done, me like a lot. Wonder if it will suffer from the "do we really want to replay this?" syndrome.

Carv: Hard to say now, my friend. We're so early on, but it's obvious the design here of exploration, risk / reward analysis, makes for an interesting game. And we have many more little puzzles to solve before we get there. It will definitely be interesting to see where this lands on next year's re-ranking.

Carv: Finishing out the penultimate period with #11, Clank!: A Deck-Building Game.

Urnal: Carv make lots of CLANK! Me like when dragon eats you.

Carv: This takes the basic deck building concept, and adds a little race to gather some artifacts to the mix. It's a much needed change to the formula, and is light enough to start earlier in the gaming hobby. And expansions, agogo. Which do you like the best?

Urnal: Me still like base game. Easiest to set up and play, but underwater one good too.

Carv: We do have the pyramid to play still, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the fate die and mummy changes this up a bit. But overall, this game comes out quite often in our group, usually between heavier games.

Urnal: Me want to finish list so me can punch some cardboard from Wingspan.

Carv: I'm already there, ya big beautiful brute. One period to go. Top 10, coming soon. Stay tuned, and play more

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!!!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 30 - 21

Carv Halberd: And we're back for the third period spirits of all kinds.

Urnal Angr: Me like Myk's Hard Lemon-grog.

Carv: A favorite of everyone here at this station yet to be named. Maybe the writer should get on that.

Urnal: Me no tease writer anymore. Last time was a big ow.

Carv: (chuckle) Yes, it was certainly the highlight of my day. Moving on! We pick up our ranking with #30, Mystic Vale.

Urnal: Ugh, more hippy-dippy bull

Carv: (interrupting) This is a deck-building game of sorts. What does the box call it, deck construction? Deck creation? I don't have it in front of me.

Urnal: We do it live!

Carv: Card crafting! That's it. A nice twist on deck-building where the amount of cards you have all game remains constant, but you are continually upgrading the card by sleeving new powers into your existing hand.

Urnal: Urnal likes sleeving. It zen.

Carv: This is a side of you we haven't seen before, Urnal. That's deep.

[Sounds of a bony hand being smashed to dust]

Urnal: Reputation and all.

Carv: The press your luck aspect of this game may turn some people off, but it's a nice change from the usual draw 5, buy new cards, discard, draw 5, buy new cards, discard, draw 5

[Sounds of a punch to a bony face]

Carv: Thanks, buddy. Got stuck in a little loop there.

Urnal: Any time. Me mean it. [Knuckles cracking] Any. Time.

Carv: #29, Tokaido. A peaceful journey crossing the "East Sea Road" of Japan.

Urnal: Me not sure you play same game. I steal your spot.

Carv: Yes, this is a mean, peaceful trek.

Urnal: Mean is my favorite.

Carv: We are certainly all aware of that. This is a lightweight intro to hobby board gaming kinda game, which frankly, at this point sees more play on the app than the actual board. But still, can't deny it is a fun game when it is broken out.

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!

Carv: (sigh). Moving on to #28, Viticulture.

Urnal: This one not me favorite.

Carv: Oddly, I agree, Urnal. The writer here has a real love for worker placement though, so I'm not surprised to see this on the list. Certainly the Essential Edition fixes some of the... problems with the base game. As far as worker placement goes, this is definitely a good game, and #28 feels

[Sounds of a safe teetering on a ledge 50 ft above our cast]

Carv: ...just right for our overseer. A wonderful selection.

Urnal: This just worker placement. Maybe reskin to make grog. Then drink when make.

Carv: I think you're onto something. Viticulture: A Drinking Game. Someone get on that home-brew.

Urnal: Me just move to #27, Tzolk'in: The Mayan Calendar.

Carv: Alas, worker placement to worker placement.

Urnal: Me like this one more. Gears are fun gimmick. Game worker placement and worker removal.

Carv: You are absolutely correct. I would also agree this is a nice twist on the genre. And who doesn't love Crystal Skulls?

Urnal: Ind

Carv: (interrupting) Let's not go there. This is worth the play through just to play with the board a bit.

Carv: Continuing on to #26, Dice Forge.

Urnal: UUUUUUUGH.

Carv: You are just not feeling the list today, are you?

Urnal: Game is fun. Players always doing stuff, even not on turn. But me have big hands and dice faces are so small.

Carv: Understood, my gentle giant. The only dice crafting game on our list, this was definitely a good amount of fun for the first few play-throughs.

Urnal: Only first few?

Carv: It got a little repetitive, but an expansion is incoming in 2019, and I couldn't be more pleased. This game was begging for just a tiny bit more depth.

Urnal: Me still think fun at base game for when brain is burnt out on heavy stuff. Good... filler not right word... Carv?

Carv: You stumped me, friend. Perhaps we call this a casual game, a la Tokaido.

Urnal: Makes sense. It fun game even without expansion if not played it.

Carv: #25, I'm afraid you will also have some slight aversion to with your meaty hands. A little dexterity game called Tokyo Highway.

Urnal: Dexterity games are poop.

Carv: Urnal! Don't be so harsh. Sometimes you need a break from the usual. And as far as dexterity games go, Tokyo Highway is tops, and now has a 4 player version out for massive highway building

Urnal: Easy for you to say with little puny bone fingers.

Carv: The game does come with tweezers to help.

Urnal: Oh, let me replace little tiny car with little tiny tweezer. That help. Me say game is fun, but ends in one of two ways. Actual end how supposed too... or Urnal accidentally knock over large amount of highway and we say f

Carv: (nervous laugh) Yes, that can certainly happen where the winner comes from the loser conceding the match instead of figuring out how to rebuild. But when the game goes well, you can end with a rather fun bit of table presence. Play this in public and you will have eyes on your game.

Urnal: Urnal used to eyes on him (flex).

Carv: Of course you are. #24, Survive: Escape from Atlantis.

Urnal: Now you talking.

Carv: Yes, this is right up your alley. As mean as it gets, as you have the sea monster devour your opponents' meeples. But as mean as this game can be, it is not complicated.

Urnal: Which why Urnal likes it so much. Easy mean is the best mean.

Carv: This game is likely the oldest game on the list (fact checker hasn't been written in yet, so this is a rough guess that is not going to be verified any time soon) and certainly has staying power. It doesn't get taken out as much, but with the gremlins coming into real board gaming age, it is being worked back into rotation.

Urnal: Me laugh when six year old eats your meeple.

Carv: (dejected) so does she.

Carv: I'm not giving this game any more time. #23, Azul.

Urnal: Me like placement of this game.

Carv: An appropriate comment about a game involving placement of tiles, but continue.

Urnal: See many people put this in top games ever. Game is good, but that good? Me don't think so.

Carv: Yes, after playing I was mildly surprised to see it in so many top 10's or 5's. I agree, this is a fun tile placement game, better at full player count in my opinion, but it seemed to tiring faster than most games. The "back" board does offer extra challenge, being more open, but again it's to a certain degree.

Urnal: New Azul out now. More windows like other game.

Carv: I haven't played that just yet, and have to wonder the need for a new game. The appeal to Azul is its approachability and ease of play. Perhaps there is a segment that wants a deeper Azul, but for me, this is a family game or intro game for non-board gamers. You played? You liked this? Allow me to broaden your horizons now with some more depth and mechanics.

Carv: Like what we have here at #22, Concordia.

Urnal: Urnal's brain hurts trying to think of what to even say about this one.

Carv: It's certainly heavier than anything else we discussed so far, yet still, not the heaviest game on our list. So fire that brain up, ya galoof.

Urnal: This one brain burner of grabbing right cards to make synergies with your resources. It take much thought.

Carv: Yes, you certainly don't want to shoot from the hip.

Urnal: What you mean?

Carv: You know? Like, when you just fire a gun really

Urnal: What that?

Carv: This is only loosely a fantasy setting. We're discussing modern board games, so obviously we can use some anachronistic phraseology. C'mon.

Urnal: Fine.

Carv: I recommend this above all others we've discussed so far.

Urnal: That how ranking work. It better than others before it.

Carv: Shut it.

Carv: Last call of the period, #21, The Quest for El Dorado.

Urnal: Deck building race game. Me like.

Carv: Right? This is so simple, yet it's one I just don't tire from. We've probably played through all of the suggested map setups in the book and gone so far as to create the ultimate setup of

Urnal: ALL OF THE TILES!

Carv: Even that game was fun. Or the one where we intentionally put as much water spots on the board as possible. Or where we combined two games...

Urnal: Maybe that too much.

Carv: Maybe. But this is a deck builder where efficiency becomes king. Grabbing the right cards at the right time and know when to weed them from your deck is key.

Urnal: Me find it funny when everyone rushes ahead and me go slow to create effective deck and then blow by everyone at end.

Carv: That is definitely possible in this game. It plays so quick too. Definitely fits in with Tokaido and Dice Forge into that "casual" category. And generally you can find this pretty cheap, so it's worth the pickup.

Urnal: Me have enough for today. Play more BOARD GAMES!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Play Count

Before we get started, a note to my readers: I want to try something new. Well, new to you. I created this tandem of characters for a D&D backstory many years ago as announcers to a few games of Blood Bowl. It was a long backstory that needed some comic relief. I miss them, so I am thinking about dusting them off and using them to write my game reviews. The story-telling mode wasn't working for me, as you may have noticed with the lack of posts over the last several months. But, I'm back with a re-theme, and maybe a new name at some point. I introduce you to our actors:

Carv Halberd (skeleton)
Urnal Angr (ogre)

Carv: Happy New Year, ladies and germs, banshees and banhees, ghouls of all sizes. Welcome to the first annual Highlights Reel. 2018. What a year, am I right Urnal?

Urnal: 2018 was definitely a year. Says so on the date screen.

Carv: Thanks, Urnal. Ever the insight.

Urnal: Careful bone-boy.

Carv: Always. To the point, today we review the highlights of our 2018 board gaming. What do you say, Urnal?  List? Exposition? Oration on the performance evaluation of our entertainment?

Urnal: [sounds of a bony arm being ripped from its socket]

Carv: List it is. Let us start simple, with numbers.

Urnal: Numbers are like letters but for numbering.

Carv: Absolutely right, Urnal. Ever the help to our Pre-K viewers.

Urnal: I'll Pre-K...ick your face.

Carv: [sounds of a bony butt shifting a little further away]. We start on volume, and let us just get the list out of the way, shall we? We can go into some more detail on each game in our next session.

Urnal: Here are top L games played.

Carv: That's 7, to us number using folk.

7. Rising Sun (5 plays)
6. Ex Libris (5 plays)
5. Bohnanza (5 plays)
4. Azul (5 plays)

Urnal: Me noticing trend here. These all board games.

Carv: Actually... [sound of an ogre slowly cracking his knuckles] you are absolutely correct. I'll continue, we'll see if it's more board games.

3. Spirit Island (6 plays)

Urnal: Urnal likes this game. Whole island of spirits. Takes many spirits to get Urnal drunk.

Carv: Yes. Many spirits. I have it on good authority, mostly that my entire dialogue is being created for me by the player of said games, that Spirit Island was a late entry into the top list, with most plays occurring solo right at the end. A tough game of Catan Strikes Back with a more satisfyingly complicated Pandemic-like feel that helps ease away real world stress by drowning your thoughts with in game options.

Urnal: Burns many brains.

Carv: An appropriate comment, Urnal. Thank you.

Urnal: [sounds of bony leg being ripped out and used to hit a bony face]. I have reputation to maintain.

Carv: Right. Onward.

2. Downforce (7 plays)

Carv: Likely play count is higher than this as any play of this game tends to result in an instant replay. And with the youngest gremlin enjoying the simplified rules of this game (found in the instructions), this play count could easily be double. Light, fast, fun, racing and betting.

Urnal: Betting is my cup of grog.

Carv: I don't doubt that.

Urnal: I bet bony man will shut his face-hole if he doesn't want to chase his jaw across the arena.

[silence]

[an ogre laughs]

1. Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden (12 plays... also likely underscored)

Urnal: My favorite part is when you play the game.

Carv: Yes, certainly a good part of this solo puzzle game (2 player rules created with the Kickstarter). Sadly, I've never been able to win that blue ribbon.

Urnal: Me get you blue ribbon.

[sounds of an ogre stomping off]

[a loud thud]

[screams]

[wet, slimy, sounds]

Urnal: Here, friend.

Carv: Intestines... not the blue ribbon... thank you, Urnal. You're a true friend.

[sounds of a slap on a bony back]

[a bony head hits a table]

Carv: Thanks for coming along folks. Next up, our first annual ranking of games. Until next time...

[sounds of a giant ogre club breaking the set]

Chapter 6: Ticket to Ride - New York (or Sometimes You Don't Want the Hawaiian Kona Chocolate Soufflé)

I love dessert. L.O.V.E. dessert. It happens to be tied for first place in my overall ranking of favorite dining courses (tied with appetizers - though either could really take the lead depending on mood). And it seems I've passed this love for all things sweet down to the gremlins, who now expect dessert nightly, to the point where they won't finish dinner because they're "saving room." Listen, gremlins, you don't eat that dinner I spent the last two hours preparing, you ain't gettin' no dessert. And what you don't get. I do. (evil grin). But that's a different story.

I just happen to have quite the sweet tooth. This was most evident on my honeymoon many moons ago in Disney World (don't judge). Listen, the parks are nice, the rides are ok, the hotels fun. It's all great. But, the food. Oh my, Disney restaurants are some of the best out there. And the capstone to our
honeymoon was a little place called Victoria & Albert's. For those who don't know, this is a fancy, seven course, shirt and tie, mucho dinero, kinda place that serves things with letters that have weird symbols on them.

The meal was fantastic. But the end... the pièce de résistance... a Hawaiian Kona Chocolate soufflé. Just knowing that awaited the end of these courses, my anticipation was just... through the roof. Course after course was served, Colorado bison with black garlic and charmoula (what's a charmoula? Who cares? Just eat it!), Kurobuta pork loin with zellwood corn succotash and arugula pudding (do those words belong together? I don't know). Delicious stuff. But eventually... dessert.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And eventually the waiter came by. You see. The thing with soufflé is, it's delicate. And the first one they made for me. Well, it dropped, and they weren't about to serve a de-puffed soufflé. Ok. So, the wait continued. Eventually it came.


The time was no issue when the end result was something with that sweet, sweet payoff that makes you sit back in your chair and think, "that is some good cake." My problem with Ticket to Ride has always been, the game is too long for how light it is. It's waiting anxiously for an hour for a delicacy only to receive vanilla ice cream. If you give a Doug a long time, he's gonna want some soufflé.

Ticket to Ride: New York seems to fix this. It gives you the vanilla ice cream you crave, without the long wait. A shortened game carries all the strategy and tension of its big brothers and sisters and cousins (or whatever), without the mismatched time commitment. I prefer New York to the larger boards.

Chapter 5: Bohnanza (or The Addiction of the Collection Junkie)

There is something about getting more things.

I don't know when I noticed it. At first it was really just something that happened. Dad came home with a new pack of baseball cards, then hockey cards. Sports was his thing, so maybe I hadn't noticed it before, but perhaps that collection was more for him. Then I had a mind of my own and Garbage Pail Kids came out. Oh man, Garbage Pail Kids. So. Many. Cards. I couldn't get enough. But even then, I hadn't noticed it. It was just something I liked doing. It didn't feel like a compulsion. A need to get ALL THE THINGS. It was just fun to look at them and laugh.

Even later on when Garbage Pail Kids went the way of Madballs and M.U.S.C.L.E. Men, and was replaced by Marvel cards and Pokemon. With Pokemon, I'd never played the game for the story. Never collected the cards for the game. Hell, I didn't even know how to play the card game until maybe a year ago and my daughter took interest in them. It was about getting more Pokemon cards, more Marvel cards, more movies on VHS and then DVD, and more about getting more beans (more on that later).

But collecting is hard work (and rather costly - if you're reading this I'm sure you're aware. How's that board game collection going and are your kids going to be able to afford college at this rate?). So, what can you do? You can't just rely solely upon your own funds sometimes and certainly you can't simply rely on luck of the draw (ANOTHER Spider-Man?!?!). Back in the day, dad would only buy you so many packs at a time. So, you snuck that card collection book into your backpack and you brought that thing to school. Oh, you have an extra Wolverine? Well, I have a Spider-Man for that Wolverine. No? What if Thor joins the party? Deal!

Everyone was happy. The collections got bigger and no more money spent. The life of a collector.

Now what about those beans? Well, that's Bohnanza. You collect some goofy looking beans, planting them in your fields, trading unwanted beans with your friends, and harvesting them for gold (money, the mother of all collections). This game is a staple in my collection. It is my most played game (that isn't a solo game). Can't recommend this enough as a gateway / filler type.

Chapter 4: Rising Sun (or Attack of the High School Cafeteria Godzilla)

I was not a popular kid and found myself picked on quite a bit through Middle School and then some more throughout most of High School. Problem was (amongst my own shortcomings), I wasn't one of the pretty boys and I certainly wasn't a jock (seemed the bulk of my school were these types). Also wasn't one of the super smart kids or a band geek or a stoner.

"I... hurt myself today..."

First, the music. A progression from rock/grunge - Aerosmith, Nirvana - to heavier stuff - Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, which led to industrial - KMFDM. The clothes followed and I found myself with the goths (LOL - Crüxshadows and Sisters of Mercy, please). Anyway, there I was, in black, long hair, trench coat, and with my clique, vying for the corner lot of the cafeteria.

Even amongst the goths I was still a bit out. I couldn't draw or play an instrument and still wasn't top of the class in smarts. But, it was the best fit for me. I made some friends and eventually got enough self esteem to allow friendships to cross clique borders. Let me tell you, having a partner on another side, very helpful. Life went on, and years went by. It was almost time to move on from HS inanity and go on to the bad decisions of college life, but first...

My brother, several years younger, had his freshman year of HS during my senior year. So, while I
was past most of the childish stupidity (ha! there was so much more of that to come, but not for this story), he had just entered into the worst of it (or at least had rounded the apex). I'd been picked on quite a bit as a kid, whether it was from not being traditionally attractive or fitting myself into a sub culture not yet propped up by things like Hot Topic, I'd moved on, and now it seemed, it was his turn. He had it a little different than me. He was a band geek and some freshman jock kid was giving him a hard time.

Sure, as an adult looking back you realize that just maybe the better lesson might have been to have him take a stand. Learn some self respect. But, as a kid, why do that when you can hire some ronin to take care of it for you? It seemed the band geeks were going to need a partner because the big kid holding the bass drum wasn't stepping up.

Step in me. I wasn't big. I wasn't strong. Honestly, I was rather underweight and on the shorter side. But I was me - the weird looking, senior, goth kid in a rather snobby school. I was a monster. It only took a few words.

"I want to kick my brother's ass sometimes too, but as his brother, I'm allowed to think that. You're not. So you're going to stop. Now."

And so he did (thank the kami).

Why do combat on your own when you can send the Oni of Hate in to do it for you?

Rising Sun does this in such a fun way. Sure, you can send your goth kids around the map trying to get the best table in the cafeteria (by the windows, please), but when your holding is threatened by the stoners... send in the Kaiju!

This has very quickly become a top 5 game for me. Area control, negotiation, partnerships, betrayal, AND giant monsters. There are just so many moments, even when the tides turn against you, where you just think... damn, that was cool, and this game is awesome.

Chapter 3: Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden (or Show Tunes From Apartment A... And All That Jazz)

My wife and I were married back in 2005 and we had taken things on the slower side as it came to real estate. We tried to be fiscally responsible, not falling into the trap as happens with American youth of over-extending yourself for the sake of owning something (because that's what our parents say we should do - not that the economy is anything like it was for them... but that's a different subject). So, we moved into a small apartment in our hometown. All was Disney vacations and World of Warcraft and Domino's delivery for a good time. We got a cat, a dog, a rabbit. Life was good.

"Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz."

Did you hear that?

We all heard it. My parents, 10 miles away, heard it. It was Chicago, from the downstairs neighbor (and probably heard by people IN Chicago). Ok, it's not overly late, we can pump the volume on the laptops a bit and get on with our WoW raiding. We'd been living there some time and there hadn't been any issues up to that point, so maybe the dude was having some party with some show tune fans. Everyone's entitled to be an inconsiderate ass every once in a while. So we went on with our night, soundtrack provided by neighbor in apartment A.

"I'm gonna rouge my knees, and roll my stockings down. And all that jazz."

Hours. Later. I wasn't an early to bed type back then. WoW was a bit of an addiction, and we'd shut down for night. So, some odd o'clock in the morning, and the walls are vibrating with show tunes. Knocking (using the term gently) on the floor didn't help any. Ringing the doorbell neither. So, like reasonable people, we call the police. I mean, we didn't know the guy, and it could be any of the neighbors who called, right? We can't be the only ones suffering.

"Start the car, I know a whoopee spot, where the gin is cold, and the piano is hot."

The cops come, and they ring his bell, again and again, again and again, they use a bullhorn to try to shout into the place, and it turns out dude is SUPER drunk. He lowers the volume, and the cops leave.

"It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl. And all. That. Jazz."

The music is back on, and it's quickly followed by a knock on the door and some slurred shouting. The wife and I, we're young, so we call our parents as backup (probably should have called the police back, but no one is hurt during this story, so don't worry). The parent arrive and drunk guy is shouting at them, at us, because how dare we call the police, and it's show tunes, it's not like he's blasting hip hop or heavy metal, so we must be some kind of uncultured swine.

Turns out drunk dude has a rep with the apartment complex for doing this every now and again, but they refuse to do anything about it (I'm sure legally they can't, or maybe they can, but I'm not about to get lawyers involved in a place I have no real ties to, so whatever). We move.

I wish that were the end of the story, but at the condo there was rap, late drunken barbecues, and corn cobs on our lawn. At the house there was the drummer. At the in-law's there was the fence-breaker. At the SC house there were fireworks. All. The. Time. Back in NJ there are ants (they're still neighbors of a sort, right?).

Constant. Neighbor. Problems.

Much like Mr. Cabbagehead of Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden. He's got some neighbor problems too. It's a fun solo (now also 2-player game) that has you planting vegetables in an attempt to win the blue ribbon (so elusive). The only difference here is, you know how Mr. Cabbagehead's neighbors are going to mess with you and part of your game plan is to try to mitigate the potential problems they will cause. Also the game is over in a few minutes and you can shuffle those pains in the butt back into a deckbox. It's thinky and puzzly and it's nice having the annoying neighbors be a part of something fun instead of a constant migraine.

This has been my go-to solo game for around a month now, to the point that it is now my most played game of 2018 already (and I have yet to win that blue ribbon - I'm looking at you Lord Carrotbody of the Doughty-Chesterfield Carrotbody's). Recommended.