2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 40 - 31

Urnal Angr: Urnal almost ready for the next period of BOARD GAME rankings, but there something Urnal need to do before he ready.

Carv Halberd: What's that, my friend?

Urnal: Urnal feels stress... bad. He needs to smash something.

Carv: Why not go to...

Urnal: CLUCKY FREEZES'!

Carv: Right you are, Urnal. Whenever I'm feeling the need to break something, I head on over to Clucky Freezes'. For only 37 Gold, you can get borrow any sized club and 476 frozen cluck-eggs for smashing.

Urnal: Urnal smashed giant cluck-egg with his own mallet and feels ready for some BOARD GAMES! Thanks, Clucky!

Carv: That's Clucky Freezes' on the Duopig Trail.

Urnal: Mention Urnal's name and get Ogre special - giant club rental, free with frozen dragon cluck-egg purchase.

Carv: And now back to our program. Ranking for 2018 Board Games - #s 40 - 31.

Urnal: Bony man probably likes #40. Many bony people in Dead of Winter.

Carv: It's not just the bony people, my friend, but the survival horror. I love a good survival horror story, and DoW, with a possible traitor, makes for a fun game with some sometimes great storytelling moments with the crossroads cards.

Urnal: Ugh, just get a room with stupid bony people already. Me like smashing them.

Carv: And this is why you're on your 4th copy of the game. Cardboard is not for smashing.

Urnal: Everything is for smashing.

[Sounds of a mallet clapping into a meaty ogre hand]

Carv: ANYWAY. #39. Possibly our only 1 vs many game. Fury of Dracula.

Urnal: Praise Lolth, enough with the bony people. Me like cornering stupid bony man and smashing him with ogre friends.

Carv: Alas, with hidden movement, this is harder than it seems. The game creates some tense cat and mouse moments, but if I had to complain

Urnal: Like anyone could stop you.

Carv: IF I HAD TO COMPLAIN, I might say this one goes on a tad too long. Still. This isn't a game likely to hit the table for weeks in a row, but is always a good time when the occasional mood to play it creeps in.

Urnal: If next game has more bone people, me feed your legs to Urnal's demondog.

Carv: [Sounds of paper shuffling. Mumbling]. Uh. Not anymore. #38 is something totally different. Dice drafting and placement with Sagrada.

Carv: Surely this can't offend you.

Urnal: I like the part where I smash your window.

Carv: That's not... Seriously?!

Urnal: ... What?

Carv: You're just... Nevermind. Moving on. This one can be a bit of a brain burner to some extent, and at times comes down to efficient use of the power cards to manipulate the randomness of dice dependency.

Urnal: I hate dice den... depped... Or me just break it.

Carv: You haven't won this one yet, have you?

Urnal: [Dejected] no. But me like numbers and colors instead of more reading. Good change of pace.

Carv: Moving on to another semi-coop. #37 is Shadows Over Camelot.

Urnal: Me go for Excalibur.

Carv: [Sigh]. So, traitor, this is one you enjoy?

Urnal: Like Dead of Winter, but me like betraying silly knights more than puny post apoc people.

Carv: This one does have that potential hidden traitor mechanic like DoW, and potential overruns, but gameplay is different with gathering poker-like hands of cards to play. It's like a bunch of mini games, which may turn some people off. But overall, it's another good traitor-type game that is more likely to be played once in a while than over and over. But it will not leave the collection.

Carv: But let us quiet things down a little bit now. Sometimes you just need some solo gaming relaxation. We'd said previously, that 2017's most played game was The Game. In 2018, it was solo gaming again that took the Most Played spot, and this one is just a fantastic solo puzzle of a game. At #36, Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden.

Urnal: We talked about this already on this list. Carv want another blue ribbon?

Carv: [Shudder] Only in the game, my friend. I will try again today.

Urnal: You need Urnal to smash pesky neighbors, you just let me know.

Carv: [Sounds of cards shuffling into a desk drawer] Please don't break my game.

Urnal: URNAL'S FAVORITEST THEME AT #35. Cat Lady.

Carv: ...

Urnal: Me love kitties.

Carv: So no Kittens in a

Urnal: You finish that thought, me break you.

Carv: Got it. No

Urnal: Me not kidding.

Carv: Cat Lady is a drafting from a grid game where you must collect cats, toys, food, and costumes for your kitties. A tough sell to some groups based on the name and pink box, but people, monsters, ghouls or ghosts, just get over it. This is a fun game. Play it.

Urnal: Urnal a proud Cat Lady.

Carv: I'm with you on this one, friend.

Carv: Speaking of box art that's a turn off. At #34 there is quite a bit of death in the Downfall of Pompeii.

Urnal: Silly man had it coming.

Carv: ...

Urnal: Too soon? It was 79 A.D.

Carv: That's... actually correct, Urnal. Why don't you take this one?

Urnal: Me like this game. Run your peoples away from lava spouts and BURNIFY your opponents. Me favorite part is throwing friends into the volcano.

Carv: Summed up exquisitely. I am rather fond of the plastic volcano on the board that you throw your opponents into as well. A nice touch. There is quite some randomness involved as the lava spreading is based on tile draw from a bag, but this is more of a fun Survive: Escape From Atlantis type game, where the fun is the interaction in destroying your opponent more than the actual gameplay itself.

Carv: Next up, nothing pairs so well with a game of sacrificial burning like a game with some... coffee and cake. #33 is Grand Austria Hotel.

Carv: This is another dice drafting / puzzle type game where you get guests to come to your cafe, feed them, and send them to a room in your hotel.

Urnal: Me like playing with you, but not so much with more. Waiting makes Urnal want to throw things.

Carv: Yes, the turn ordering can be problematic, especially if you have anyone prone to analysis paralysis. Turn order snakes, so - A, B, C, D, D, C, B, A. A has a brutal wait from one turn to the next.

Urnal: Me rather go on date with Medusa. Already feels like turning to stone. May as well be with

Carv: Moving on. I know backstabbing and area control is your forte.

Urnal: You have my attention.

Carv: #32. Tyrants of the Underdark.

Urnal: ...

Carv: Not impressed?

Urnal: It good. It just not...

Carv: I see. This is a deck builder with some area control thrown in.

Urnal: Urnal played twice. Based on cards picked for deck, had one exciting game. One boring game.

Carv: Player count as well. As with any area control game, the more you have, the more tense the control battle. 1 vs 1 just doesn't have the same feel. But I must say, the combination of deck building and area control is fantastic. I just with they would make some more expansions to change things up.

Urnal: If wishes were fishes...

Carv: Speaking of... Let us finish out today's ranking with #31. Sushi Go Party!

Urnal: Better than Cat Lady? Me not so sure.

Carv: This is card drafting in its most basic form, and I might put Cat Lady before Sushi Go!, unless you make it Sushi Go Party!

Urnal: Me like to party. [Sounds of an ogre chugging something frothy]

Carv: The additional cards, the reminder cards, the board, the Party version just adds so much to the base game. It's quick, light, and maybe more of a filler, but definitely one everyone should own.

Urnal: Me go party now. Play more BOOOOARD GAAAAAMES!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Play Count

Before we get started, a note to my readers: I want to try something new. Well, new to you. I created this tandem of characters for a D&D backstory many years ago as announcers to a few games of Blood Bowl. It was a long backstory that needed some comic relief. I miss them, so I am thinking about dusting them off and using them to write my game reviews. The story-telling mode wasn't working for me, as you may have noticed with the lack of posts over the last several months. But, I'm back with a re-theme, and maybe a new name at some point. I introduce you to our actors:

Carv Halberd (skeleton)
Urnal Angr (ogre)

Carv: Happy New Year, ladies and germs, banshees and banhees, ghouls of all sizes. Welcome to the first annual Highlights Reel. 2018. What a year, am I right Urnal?

Urnal: 2018 was definitely a year. Says so on the date screen.

Carv: Thanks, Urnal. Ever the insight.

Urnal: Careful bone-boy.

Carv: Always. To the point, today we review the highlights of our 2018 board gaming. What do you say, Urnal?  List? Exposition? Oration on the performance evaluation of our entertainment?

Urnal: [sounds of a bony arm being ripped from its socket]

Carv: List it is. Let us start simple, with numbers.

Urnal: Numbers are like letters but for numbering.

Carv: Absolutely right, Urnal. Ever the help to our Pre-K viewers.

Urnal: I'll Pre-K...ick your face.

Carv: [sounds of a bony butt shifting a little further away]. We start on volume, and let us just get the list out of the way, shall we? We can go into some more detail on each game in our next session.

Urnal: Here are top L games played.

Carv: That's 7, to us number using folk.

7. Rising Sun (5 plays)
6. Ex Libris (5 plays)
5. Bohnanza (5 plays)
4. Azul (5 plays)

Urnal: Me noticing trend here. These all board games.

Carv: Actually... [sound of an ogre slowly cracking his knuckles] you are absolutely correct. I'll continue, we'll see if it's more board games.

3. Spirit Island (6 plays)

Urnal: Urnal likes this game. Whole island of spirits. Takes many spirits to get Urnal drunk.

Carv: Yes. Many spirits. I have it on good authority, mostly that my entire dialogue is being created for me by the player of said games, that Spirit Island was a late entry into the top list, with most plays occurring solo right at the end. A tough game of Catan Strikes Back with a more satisfyingly complicated Pandemic-like feel that helps ease away real world stress by drowning your thoughts with in game options.

Urnal: Burns many brains.

Carv: An appropriate comment, Urnal. Thank you.

Urnal: [sounds of bony leg being ripped out and used to hit a bony face]. I have reputation to maintain.

Carv: Right. Onward.

2. Downforce (7 plays)

Carv: Likely play count is higher than this as any play of this game tends to result in an instant replay. And with the youngest gremlin enjoying the simplified rules of this game (found in the instructions), this play count could easily be double. Light, fast, fun, racing and betting.

Urnal: Betting is my cup of grog.

Carv: I don't doubt that.

Urnal: I bet bony man will shut his face-hole if he doesn't want to chase his jaw across the arena.

[silence]

[an ogre laughs]

1. Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden (12 plays... also likely underscored)

Urnal: My favorite part is when you play the game.

Carv: Yes, certainly a good part of this solo puzzle game (2 player rules created with the Kickstarter). Sadly, I've never been able to win that blue ribbon.

Urnal: Me get you blue ribbon.

[sounds of an ogre stomping off]

[a loud thud]

[screams]

[wet, slimy, sounds]

Urnal: Here, friend.

Carv: Intestines... not the blue ribbon... thank you, Urnal. You're a true friend.

[sounds of a slap on a bony back]

[a bony head hits a table]

Carv: Thanks for coming along folks. Next up, our first annual ranking of games. Until next time...

[sounds of a giant ogre club breaking the set]

Chapter 3: Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden (or Show Tunes From Apartment A... And All That Jazz)

My wife and I were married back in 2005 and we had taken things on the slower side as it came to real estate. We tried to be fiscally responsible, not falling into the trap as happens with American youth of over-extending yourself for the sake of owning something (because that's what our parents say we should do - not that the economy is anything like it was for them... but that's a different subject). So, we moved into a small apartment in our hometown. All was Disney vacations and World of Warcraft and Domino's delivery for a good time. We got a cat, a dog, a rabbit. Life was good.

"Come on babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz."

Did you hear that?

We all heard it. My parents, 10 miles away, heard it. It was Chicago, from the downstairs neighbor (and probably heard by people IN Chicago). Ok, it's not overly late, we can pump the volume on the laptops a bit and get on with our WoW raiding. We'd been living there some time and there hadn't been any issues up to that point, so maybe the dude was having some party with some show tune fans. Everyone's entitled to be an inconsiderate ass every once in a while. So we went on with our night, soundtrack provided by neighbor in apartment A.

"I'm gonna rouge my knees, and roll my stockings down. And all that jazz."

Hours. Later. I wasn't an early to bed type back then. WoW was a bit of an addiction, and we'd shut down for night. So, some odd o'clock in the morning, and the walls are vibrating with show tunes. Knocking (using the term gently) on the floor didn't help any. Ringing the doorbell neither. So, like reasonable people, we call the police. I mean, we didn't know the guy, and it could be any of the neighbors who called, right? We can't be the only ones suffering.

"Start the car, I know a whoopee spot, where the gin is cold, and the piano is hot."

The cops come, and they ring his bell, again and again, again and again, they use a bullhorn to try to shout into the place, and it turns out dude is SUPER drunk. He lowers the volume, and the cops leave.

"It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl. And all. That. Jazz."

The music is back on, and it's quickly followed by a knock on the door and some slurred shouting. The wife and I, we're young, so we call our parents as backup (probably should have called the police back, but no one is hurt during this story, so don't worry). The parent arrive and drunk guy is shouting at them, at us, because how dare we call the police, and it's show tunes, it's not like he's blasting hip hop or heavy metal, so we must be some kind of uncultured swine.

Turns out drunk dude has a rep with the apartment complex for doing this every now and again, but they refuse to do anything about it (I'm sure legally they can't, or maybe they can, but I'm not about to get lawyers involved in a place I have no real ties to, so whatever). We move.

I wish that were the end of the story, but at the condo there was rap, late drunken barbecues, and corn cobs on our lawn. At the house there was the drummer. At the in-law's there was the fence-breaker. At the SC house there were fireworks. All. The. Time. Back in NJ there are ants (they're still neighbors of a sort, right?).

Constant. Neighbor. Problems.

Much like Mr. Cabbagehead of Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden. He's got some neighbor problems too. It's a fun solo (now also 2-player game) that has you planting vegetables in an attempt to win the blue ribbon (so elusive). The only difference here is, you know how Mr. Cabbagehead's neighbors are going to mess with you and part of your game plan is to try to mitigate the potential problems they will cause. Also the game is over in a few minutes and you can shuffle those pains in the butt back into a deckbox. It's thinky and puzzly and it's nice having the annoying neighbors be a part of something fun instead of a constant migraine.

This has been my go-to solo game for around a month now, to the point that it is now my most played game of 2018 already (and I have yet to win that blue ribbon - I'm looking at you Lord Carrotbody of the Doughty-Chesterfield Carrotbody's). Recommended.