2018 Board Game Highlights - Ranking 10 - 1

Carv Halberd: Here it is, demons and demagogues, the moment I've all been waiting for; the top ten

Urnal Angr: BOARD GAMES!!!!

Carv: Thank you, Urnal. So glad to have you back in this epic finale. What a game it's been folks. We've had some highs, and some lows.

Urnal: Like when Urnal pop puny bone head off.

Carv: That certainly was a low, Urnal.

Urnal: Maybe for you. (laugh)

Carv: It looks like we're ready to jump right into the game with #10, Ex Libris.

Urnal: Books?! Big exciting finale, and you begin us with books?!

Carv: There certainly are books on the cards, my friend, but this game is so much more. It's worker placement and tableau building and so many little mini games in the worker locations. It really is a neat little game. And I must admit, I even play this one a bit solo, just for some relaxing library organizing fun.

Urnal: (sigh) FINE. Me give it try. So long as me have way to spite you.

Carv: Like any good worker placement, there's always a teeeeeeeny bit of "take that" in there. So, perhaps that works for you?

Urnal: Me said me try already! Move on or me smash you and change mind.

Carv: Looks like we're jumping over to #9, Champions of Midgard.

Urnal: Urnal's friends no do so good in this game.

Carv: No?

Urnal: Urnal smash silly trolls and draugr with massive dice pool.

Carv: Ah yes, another worker placement, but this time with dice combat! That may be a no go for some folks as it does add quite a bit of randomness to the game, but at the core, you're evaluating risks and mitigating it as best you can. Sometimes it works out. Sometimes it doesn't.

Urnal: Much like life.

Carv: That was deep, Urnal.

[Sounds of a bony leg being ripped out]

Urnal: Here demadoggy! Fetch!

Carv: Reputation, right.

Urnal: Bony man learning. Urnal like this game even more with expansions. When die die in glorious battle, use them for even more battles.

Carv: Yes, the Valhalla expansion certainly makes this game something else altogether by adding in a separate set collection element, or maybe it's resource management. Whatever. But your warriors have a purpose after death.

Urnal: Sweet, sweet victory points. Much like life.

Carv: ... #8 Shakespeare.

Urnal: Great. Big finale has books and human who writes books.

Carv: Plays. He wrote plays. And poetry.

Urnal: Bony man saying words, but Urnal not understand.

Carv: Regardless. This is a game of set collection, tableau building, and action point allotment, and likely the first real surprise (though there may be one or two more ahead) on our list here.

Urnal: Theme and entry barrier make game a hard sell sometimes.

Carv: Right. Without the right group, the explanation on this one can be brutal. To the point where I've started playing a turn or two and then resetting with a fresh game so everyone understands.

Urnal: Urnal still not understand.

Carv: And I'm going to make it worse, because the game really feels complete when you add in the Backstage expansion. A few extra cards that give the action points you didn't bid something to do. That'd make more sense if I'd explained the game, but just know the expansion is just a small deck of cards and I prefer to never play without it now.

Urnal: Me like dressing the actors in costumes. Make Lady MacBeth pretty.

Carv: Let's just... move on to #7. Spirit Island.

Urnal: Catan fights back.

Carv: I've heard that said before. Probably one of those other reviewers who put themselves on camera. Like we don't see enough humans every day.

Urnal: But that clever for game of destroying puny human settlers.

Carv: Yes, this is a game that has a complicated Pandemic-like feel of containing the spreading disease, wherein the disease is humanity.

Urnal: RIGHT ON!

Carv: It's a brain burner of a game that has expansions, and different modes of play, and is solo-able, so boy is this a good one folks.

Urnal: Me kinda surprised this not closer to #1.

Carv: Not for us to say, but I see what you mean. Definitely interested to see if this rises for next year.

Urnal: Me break some top 6 legs to make happen.

Carv: I... uhhhh. Ok. #6. Asgard.

Urnal: Me help the dark gods. Win many battles.

Carv: Yes, this game looks so complicated, but at its core is not. Worker placement in two phases. Placement. And removal, which is when you take the action. While you may want to get to a place first to ensure your use of it, you also need to account for when you want to remove your worker. And when you want to use your resources, because this game is not friendly with resources. The bank runs out, you take it from the other players.

Urnal: Me get ALL THE RESOURCES.

Carv: That kind of thinking will only get you so far in this one. You favor the gods and back them in Ragnarök.

Urnal: Me also like how pretty this one is.

Carv: Yes, fantastic art. Clever worker placement twists. Combat. This is a fun game that deserves higher praise.

Urnal: It battles the rest of the way through. Urnal feels home.

Carv: Mostly right you are. We are hitting the top 5. And first up is nothing to be surprised about. At #5 we have Scythe.

Urnal: Game not new anymore. Not sure me have anything to add. But it so good.

Carv: Right? And to one up on that, we don't even own the expansions yet. With the praise being heaped upon Rise of Fenris, this game may hit one of the top spots of the list for years to come.

Urnal: You really gon' describe gameplay? Like humans reading this don't know by now?

Carv: It's funny you assume anyone is reading this. I think the author just likes to play around and make lists.

Urnal: Everyone loves lists.

Carv: That they do. This is resource collection, combat... so many mechanics, really. You may earn things on other players' turns, keeping you engaged. There are expansions, larger boards, and talk about a modular board set being created. This game just will. not. die.

Urnal: Me just looked at #4. Carv right. Not all fighting.

Carv: Did you just... admit to being wrong?

Urnal: Don't get used to it. #4 Dinosaur Island.

Carv: Yes, not much fighting being done here. But this game does have some things you love. Dice drafting. Very limited resources for collection.

Urnal: Dinosaurs eating stupid humans.

Carv: Yes, and that. This is a fantastic Jur

Urnal: Dino amusement park movie franchise... the game.

Carv: Thanks. Wouldn't want our non-readers to get us in trouble for using IP we didn't pay for.

Urnal: Carv not being very excited. Top 3 coming. Me help.

[Sounds of a giant gate being lifted in the arena below. A human screams in horror as a zombie T-rex chases him around... and devours it]

Carv: (sniffle) Thanks, buddy. I needed that.

Carv: Top 3, people and snake-people and whatever you are. Here are our favorite

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!

Carv: At # 3, we have worker placement, backstabbing, loot snatching, and war doggery. Dogs of War.

Urnal: Urnal laugh how first comment always about over produced game.

Carv: Just like our first comment is now. Thanks for that. Sure, tokens would work just as well as the plastic busts used for your mercenary leaders, but who doesn't love some chunky plastic.

Urnal: Great hats.

Carv: Yes, but components aside, we got this one on the cheap when CMON was practically giving them away. And I just want to play it all the time. I want more! Get me more cards! More factions! Expand this thing!

Urnal: Even without, me always want to get this one out. Try different faction to see how to play different. And different players be different too. Me keep promises just enough to break one and win game.

Carv: That certainly may be a trend for our top 3 here. But what sets Dogs of War apart from other like games is more than production, but just the interesting combination of worker placement and area control, where the area control is essentially a game of tug of war. In real time you move the favor of battle with each placement. You wheel and deal and try to cull favor to your side, only to play a power that changes EVERYTHING.

Urnal: THIS. CHANGES. EVERYTHING.

Carv: So good.

Carv: Area control take two, at #2, Tammany Hall.

Urnal: Mmmmm. Me like slandering opponents. Steal their spots.

Carv: Yes, gerrymandering, the area control game. You are trying to win elections with bribery and sneaky tactics. Sure, I'll help this nice German family find a home, just you remember me come election time.

Urnal: Me think bony man having affair with his secretary.

Carv: I... moving on. This is a game that needs a group with thick skin, and a group willing to trash talk and backstab and make shaky alliances. It can be brutal. To that extent, the box says 3 - 5. This is  5 player game. At 3, it's just a little weak. Even with the reduced board space to begin, it just doesn't have the same feel.

Urnal: This game perfect for not overly complicated mean area control game.

Carv: Almost. Almost as good as our #1.

Urnal: RISING SUN!

Carv: Oh, this game, Urnal. Area control, a million minis, monsters, alliances with literally a betrayal mechanic in the game. Even losing this game, there are just so many moments of... OH MY DARK LORD. DID HE JUST DO THAT?

Urnal: People complain about missing kickstarter. Urnal no have KS version. Retail version still wonderful game. Urnal makes you seppuku he has so much power.

Carv: Right? I don't miss the extra minis at all. With changing up the cards that can be purchased each game, the factions in use, the expansion factions, the gods coming down and joining the battle expansion, the extra monster expansion, the blind bidding for battle actions that is just this wonderful mind game between the participants of the battle. This game. It's just...

Urnal: Bony man crying?

Carv: It's just so beautiful.

[Sounds of a bony nose being blown on a loin cloth]

[Sounds of a bony body being shoved across the room. A chair smashing down on it. Bones breaking]

Urnal: You no touch Urnal again.

Carv: You... got... it.

[Sounds of a bony head being placed on the table]

Carv: That'll do it, folks. Our top 50. What a ride. Hopefully you've enjoyed the game. Now get out there and play more

Urnal: BOARD GAMES!

2018 Board Game Highlights - Play Count

Before we get started, a note to my readers: I want to try something new. Well, new to you. I created this tandem of characters for a D&D backstory many years ago as announcers to a few games of Blood Bowl. It was a long backstory that needed some comic relief. I miss them, so I am thinking about dusting them off and using them to write my game reviews. The story-telling mode wasn't working for me, as you may have noticed with the lack of posts over the last several months. But, I'm back with a re-theme, and maybe a new name at some point. I introduce you to our actors:

Carv Halberd (skeleton)
Urnal Angr (ogre)

Carv: Happy New Year, ladies and germs, banshees and banhees, ghouls of all sizes. Welcome to the first annual Highlights Reel. 2018. What a year, am I right Urnal?

Urnal: 2018 was definitely a year. Says so on the date screen.

Carv: Thanks, Urnal. Ever the insight.

Urnal: Careful bone-boy.

Carv: Always. To the point, today we review the highlights of our 2018 board gaming. What do you say, Urnal?  List? Exposition? Oration on the performance evaluation of our entertainment?

Urnal: [sounds of a bony arm being ripped from its socket]

Carv: List it is. Let us start simple, with numbers.

Urnal: Numbers are like letters but for numbering.

Carv: Absolutely right, Urnal. Ever the help to our Pre-K viewers.

Urnal: I'll Pre-K...ick your face.

Carv: [sounds of a bony butt shifting a little further away]. We start on volume, and let us just get the list out of the way, shall we? We can go into some more detail on each game in our next session.

Urnal: Here are top L games played.

Carv: That's 7, to us number using folk.

7. Rising Sun (5 plays)
6. Ex Libris (5 plays)
5. Bohnanza (5 plays)
4. Azul (5 plays)

Urnal: Me noticing trend here. These all board games.

Carv: Actually... [sound of an ogre slowly cracking his knuckles] you are absolutely correct. I'll continue, we'll see if it's more board games.

3. Spirit Island (6 plays)

Urnal: Urnal likes this game. Whole island of spirits. Takes many spirits to get Urnal drunk.

Carv: Yes. Many spirits. I have it on good authority, mostly that my entire dialogue is being created for me by the player of said games, that Spirit Island was a late entry into the top list, with most plays occurring solo right at the end. A tough game of Catan Strikes Back with a more satisfyingly complicated Pandemic-like feel that helps ease away real world stress by drowning your thoughts with in game options.

Urnal: Burns many brains.

Carv: An appropriate comment, Urnal. Thank you.

Urnal: [sounds of bony leg being ripped out and used to hit a bony face]. I have reputation to maintain.

Carv: Right. Onward.

2. Downforce (7 plays)

Carv: Likely play count is higher than this as any play of this game tends to result in an instant replay. And with the youngest gremlin enjoying the simplified rules of this game (found in the instructions), this play count could easily be double. Light, fast, fun, racing and betting.

Urnal: Betting is my cup of grog.

Carv: I don't doubt that.

Urnal: I bet bony man will shut his face-hole if he doesn't want to chase his jaw across the arena.

[silence]

[an ogre laughs]

1. Mr. Cabbagehead's Garden (12 plays... also likely underscored)

Urnal: My favorite part is when you play the game.

Carv: Yes, certainly a good part of this solo puzzle game (2 player rules created with the Kickstarter). Sadly, I've never been able to win that blue ribbon.

Urnal: Me get you blue ribbon.

[sounds of an ogre stomping off]

[a loud thud]

[screams]

[wet, slimy, sounds]

Urnal: Here, friend.

Carv: Intestines... not the blue ribbon... thank you, Urnal. You're a true friend.

[sounds of a slap on a bony back]

[a bony head hits a table]

Carv: Thanks for coming along folks. Next up, our first annual ranking of games. Until next time...

[sounds of a giant ogre club breaking the set]

Chapter 4: Rising Sun (or Attack of the High School Cafeteria Godzilla)

I was not a popular kid and found myself picked on quite a bit through Middle School and then some more throughout most of High School. Problem was (amongst my own shortcomings), I wasn't one of the pretty boys and I certainly wasn't a jock (seemed the bulk of my school were these types). Also wasn't one of the super smart kids or a band geek or a stoner.

"I... hurt myself today..."

First, the music. A progression from rock/grunge - Aerosmith, Nirvana - to heavier stuff - Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson, which led to industrial - KMFDM. The clothes followed and I found myself with the goths (LOL - Crüxshadows and Sisters of Mercy, please). Anyway, there I was, in black, long hair, trench coat, and with my clique, vying for the corner lot of the cafeteria.

Even amongst the goths I was still a bit out. I couldn't draw or play an instrument and still wasn't top of the class in smarts. But, it was the best fit for me. I made some friends and eventually got enough self esteem to allow friendships to cross clique borders. Let me tell you, having a partner on another side, very helpful. Life went on, and years went by. It was almost time to move on from HS inanity and go on to the bad decisions of college life, but first...

My brother, several years younger, had his freshman year of HS during my senior year. So, while I
was past most of the childish stupidity (ha! there was so much more of that to come, but not for this story), he had just entered into the worst of it (or at least had rounded the apex). I'd been picked on quite a bit as a kid, whether it was from not being traditionally attractive or fitting myself into a sub culture not yet propped up by things like Hot Topic, I'd moved on, and now it seemed, it was his turn. He had it a little different than me. He was a band geek and some freshman jock kid was giving him a hard time.

Sure, as an adult looking back you realize that just maybe the better lesson might have been to have him take a stand. Learn some self respect. But, as a kid, why do that when you can hire some ronin to take care of it for you? It seemed the band geeks were going to need a partner because the big kid holding the bass drum wasn't stepping up.

Step in me. I wasn't big. I wasn't strong. Honestly, I was rather underweight and on the shorter side. But I was me - the weird looking, senior, goth kid in a rather snobby school. I was a monster. It only took a few words.

"I want to kick my brother's ass sometimes too, but as his brother, I'm allowed to think that. You're not. So you're going to stop. Now."

And so he did (thank the kami).

Why do combat on your own when you can send the Oni of Hate in to do it for you?

Rising Sun does this in such a fun way. Sure, you can send your goth kids around the map trying to get the best table in the cafeteria (by the windows, please), but when your holding is threatened by the stoners... send in the Kaiju!

This has very quickly become a top 5 game for me. Area control, negotiation, partnerships, betrayal, AND giant monsters. There are just so many moments, even when the tides turn against you, where you just think... damn, that was cool, and this game is awesome.